The time has come to move on. I will allow my memberships of both the Troth and the Kith of Yggdrasil to lapse.
The Kith has become very inactive over the last six months and no longer issues periodicals or organises events as previously which made the organisation worthy of membership.
As for the Troth- it would seem to me that each year takes the organisation further from its roots and towards being little more than a liberal union for those needed the approval of others. I have no need of such and so with appreciation for the lore and research that they have provided such a great base of, I move on towards the fulfilment of my own destiny.
I have joined a group which allows me to be an individual and complete my work. There is no more to be said.
I once read that when we are ready- an appropriate teacher will come into our lives. As I resolve to walk this path alone and find my own way forever more, I reach out to those before me for guidance and find not those I reached out to- but rather a group of minds already on the path whom can give me directions to keep the path.
I give thanks to the Norn and the tapestry they weave
Not that I’ve really been anywhere, but I had taken a leave from blogging. There are couple of reasons for this.
Firstly, I have been concentrating hard on writing my book. I don’t want to blog too similarly to the content of the book- what works in a book doesn’t typically work as a blog post.
Secondly, I’ve been somewhat wrestling with myself as to what is suitable for ‘blogging’- given that I have abandoned any idea of aiding others. My theories and beliefs don’t align with anyone else that I know of- they are perhaps best described as being a mix of Nietzsche and Thorsson, but with my own elements interwoven. Certainly, those two minds are the only people I have ever read and felt as if they had written my thoughts. As a result, my views don’t fit with most pagan groups and certainly not with Heathen groups.
There are but two groups globally I have found that have a philosophy similar to my own, but one is too open to anyone joining and as a result makes a show of working towards goals- ultimately achieving very little for the majority. A group as open as this should be viewed as little more than an ‘alternative herd’ for the seeker and as such I must avoid. The other group is very closed and selective of its members. The philosophy is almost a perfect match to my own- yet I have a problem with their use of deity. They seem to be a mix of ‘theistic and non-theistic’ yet only use the deity as an archetype. My fealty to Odin does not align with this- their god may well be Odin in a form, but I cannot call the allfather by a name other than I am used to knowing him as. If I could reconcile this difficulty, then perhaps I can learn from them and accelerate my progress.
Having somewhat resolved the issue of what to blog here- I will guide, I will report on landmarks on my road and I will post my comment, but I will not give explicit instruction here. Find your own path. If you find the right path- well done. If you find the wrong path- you will try again. I believe I have the right path- as I should do so. If you do not trust in yourself, then what can you trust in?
My mind continues to grow and thirsts for even greater knowledge. As my library grows, there are of course books that are read yet nothing or little is gained from them. These books will be sold on, but the vast majority are rrturned for reference.
My first book of knowledge has been filled with references and works I deem at the core of my beliefs and practices. My second book, more a book of results, has a more developmental approach that revolves heavily around my rune work. I am logging my own interpretations of each rune and core references from the Rune poems. My own experiments with bind-runes are also being given a section along with galdr works, my new experiments in Seiðr, incenses and general other works.
As the core of my library is completed and read, I find the ever increasing need for discussion of theories. The Web offers some option for this, although it is heavily Wiccan based in terms of the online conversations you can find. I have nothing against Wiccan’s but they have views that different from my own and this can be a point of termination. I will instead turn to more structured groups and see if they can provide some discourse and food for growth.
I must admit that recent readings of Regardie, Crawley, Plato and Nietzche have spurned various thought processes and internalised mental debates over the applications of various theories and philosophies.
After much delay, last night I actually met with a local Heathen group.
I admit to being nervous when meeting them. The nerves soon vanished I’m pleased to say as any fear of them not bring what they claimed soon was put aside. I’m pleased that they were a really nice, friendly and educated group that are non-judgmental.
One of the biggest bonuses for me is that they not simply know the lore- each and everyone of them lives their faith in their own ways. A variety of patron gods and goddesses are within the group which is nice to find. Weekly meetings focusing on education or blots with full interest in honouring the festivals.
An extra bonus is that two of the members actually are giving seminars at the Mercian Gathering 2013 event that I have been looking at going to- if the wife allows! As one of the members is giving a seminar on runes and galdr that are obviously something I work with closely then I think I will have to ensure that I’m there.
I can’t express what a relief it is to have found people to share and talk with when it comes to my religion. Travelling to London was looking like the only option.
After a few years of essentially operating on a solitary basis, I’m off to a gathering of fellow Heathens for activities and talks in London this January- I can’t wait. It will be worth the cost as one of my favourite Heathen authors is in attendance and I have some questions that I would love to be able to put to him and his knowledge.
Add to that and I received a reply from local Heathen group to confirm they are still operating…but alas no reply when asking when their next meeting was…Urd;s Well Kindred if you’re out there please answer me…I need to come in from the cold…
Finally, I’m actually attending my local Pagan meet next weekend- who knows if there are any heathens there.
It’s been a while since I last posted- so I just thought I’d give you a quick update.
I’m still ‘walking the path’ and can see various steads on the horizon where I may feel welcome and find people I may call my kindred. Not only do I find myself feeling more and more at home in the groups of the ‘Kith of Yggdraasil’ and ‘the Troth’, but I have once more made contact with a local liberal heathen group- ‘the Urd’s Well Kindred’ with whom I’m seeking an audience.
I have many other projects I’m working on and some thoughts to post- so look out for more!