How I found myself on this path…

In September 2009, whilst my wife was in surgery, I sat waiting in scrubs, in expectation of my allowance into the theatre, I sat and prayed.  I never specified to whom I was praying.  I issued an open prayer to whichever god existed to aid my wife and daughter and in exchange I would seek them out.

Around 6 months passed before I started my journey. I read up on all the major religions and wrote down my feelings on religion:

-the world is too complex, varied and perfect in so many ways for everything that exists to be down to a series of chances.  One in a million equals evolution assumed as much as mere faith.

-The concept of a single omnipotent god was also an idea that I had issues with. One being, responsible for all good, evil, right, and wrong etc. that has been absent for millennia – I had a need for more logical answers.

-the deified man-god walking the earth to save us from our sins, rejected by the Jews and used as a means to extend the reign of the Roman Emperor in the form of the Roman Catholic church also failed to resonate.

-I attended a synagogue to see if a more direct line to god rather than through a man-god worked for me. I felt nothing.

-Hinduism is the world’s oldest written and documented belief system and shares many things with the pagan approaches such as ceremony, polytheism, magic etc.  I can appreciate a great deal of this religion, but it failed to strike the right chords at such a time.  Notably, I have since come to fully appreciate Lord Shiva as a archetype of the left-hand path.

My mind began to wander, back to my youth when I had a keen interest in the Norse gods and the stories of them.  When I first met my wife I developed an interest in Wicca, but never progressed it far.

I set out to find a religion upon which allowed for my own personal beliefs.  I found myself called to the openness of Wicca and then to the Norse gods, which was confirmed by answers to my prayers and various signs. Luckily, there were a number of books on Wicca in the house and so I began reading.  Eventually, I began small rituals and basic spells and before I knew I was buying every book I could to read increasingly.  My shopping sought to acquire tools I wanted to help shape my own ritual and form my altar.  Yes, I was on the path and it felt like home- it still does, although I know now my path is not that of Wicca, but is that of a Vitki in the way of Odin.  The path has taken many twists and turns, yet it began with a search.  The search for the destination, the realisation of potential is ever the goal of entelecheia.  I value the lessons and knowledge Odin sought out.  I aspire to learn all I can.  I work with Odin as my primary initiator and tutor.  I refrain from direct worship and any form of prayer or supplication to Odin.  I merely acknowledge the wisdom of his path and forge my own in honour of the gift of Odin.

My journey through Heathenry led to many questions.  I hold no racist views.  I am in no manner folkish. I am what I am, an Odian and Setian.  A draw towards Nietzschean philosophy, Jungian psychology and the supposedly ‘darker’ aspects of occultism led me to the left-hand path.

To the majority, I am pagan.  To pagan’s, they view me as heathen.  To heathen’s, they view me as an Odinist.  To Odinist’s, I am a Satanist.  To Satanist’s, I am Seitian.  Your label merely represents your reference system.  It is how you evaluate your perception of me.  I am what I am.  My approach is distinctly left-hand path.  I pray to no deity.  I kneel before no deity.  I take responsibility solely for myself.  There is a sapient gift within that I accept responsibility for.  I care little for society other than how I interact with it in pursuit of my own goals.  I am what I am.  I have no concern with the views of others — they are responsible for themselves.

There is one hard line – sovereignty.  I impose none of my views upon others.  I have no concern with others accepting or confirming the validity of my views .  I thus respect the views of others to hold their own views and admire them for such.  The moment that anyone seeks to encroach upon the sovereignty of the individual, then they cross the hard line.  There is no justification for the physical, emotional, or psychological attack upon others, other than in defence of one’s own sovereignty. Nobody says you must agree with others and what they say.  Such is no remit to attack others for holding views other than your own.

Whilst I previously had concerns over my inability to integrate well with a group of people, I find solace in writings of Nietzsche and feel that I am alone because I am different. My solitude is to my advancement and not to my detriment.  I work selectively with an elitist and selective group that is Setian.

Flee, my friend, into your solitude — and there, where a rough strong breeze blows. It is not your job to be a flyswatter. – Nietzsche

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.  If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.  -Nietzsche

 

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